Phil show provides the most comprehensive forum on mental health issues in the history of television. Ever since discovering the book, Boon has recommended it to her students. Long-lasting, happy marriages have more than great communication, Boon says.
Gottman brings up something no one ever talks about -- that irreconcilable differences are normal, that you just have to come to terms with them, not try to resolve the unresolvable. On some level, that should have been obvious, but it hasn't been," she tells WebMD. Most marriage therapists focus on "active listening," which involves paraphrasing, validating, affirming your spouse's feedback, says Boon.
Gottman puts it, 'you're asking people to do Olympic-style gymnastics when they can hardly crawl. Research indicates that most people are dissatisfied with the outcome of marital therapy, that the problems come back. Instead, you must be nice to your partner, research shows.
Make small gestures, but make them often. Many kinds of issues simply aren't solvable. Learn how to identify issues that must be resolved, that can be "fruitfully discussed," she notes. Just put up with it. All you do is waste your breath and get angry over these things that can't be changed.
You're better off not trying to change them. Commit to staying together, even though this is something you don't like.
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A long-lasting, happy marriage is about knowing your partner, being supportive, and being nice. Behavioral traits such as trainability, fearlessness, and energy are required for dogs to succeed as search-and-rescue SAR dogs. Certification by the Federal Emergency Management Agency FEMA ensures that dogs and handlers have extensive training and have demonstrated specific skills in the field.
The traits identified in this study could provide guidance for more efficient selection of candidate SAR dogs and breeding stock. Search-and-rescue SAR and human remains detector HRD dogs are selected and trained for behaviors correlated with success in the field. The canine must also be confident enough to search independently and must be able to negotiate slippery surfaces, balance wobbly objects underneath his feet and go through dark tunnels 1.
In the US, behaviors thought to be associated with successful search work are prey drive, hunt drive, and ball drive 2. Research using behavior questionnaires to study working dogs has been primarily focused on guide and service dogs.
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Most of the individual items are grouped into subscales describing a more broad behavioral trait, such as trainability, owner-directed aggression, stranger-directed aggression, rivalry or chasing. In a larger, related study of 7, dogs from five guide and service dog programs, C-BARQ scores at 6 and 12 months of age for 27 out of a possible 36 temperament traits were significantly different between dogs who successfully completed training and those released for behavioral reasons 4.
In a sample of potential military working dogs, high scores on C-BARQ for trainability at 12 months were associated with better performance on standardized behavior test at 17 months, and negatively associated with non-social and stranger-directed fear 5. After the terrorist attacks of September 11, , between and dogs deployed to the World Trade Center, Fresh Kills Landfill, and the Pentagon 6. The health and behavior of these dogs was under surveillance until , when the final dog responding to the attacks died 6 — 8.
The study year 1 from September 11, to September 10, questionnaire results were utilized in this study.
Pet dogs were solicited through one of two methods. Availability of the survey then spread via word of mouth. The entire population eligible to be included in this study consisted of 1, males neutered and intact and 1, females neutered and intact. The median age for SAR dogs was 4 years with a range from 1 to Age was rounded to the nearest whole number in years for further calculations.
The median age was 3 years with a range from 1 to 20 years for both the pet and SAR dogs. Behavior subscales were computed as described in Hsu and Serpell 9. Alpha varied from 0. The distributions of all subscales failed the Shapiro-Wilk test for normality. Several transformation functions were attempted, however, all the scores except for trainability had positive skewness with many values near 0 and few high values and there was no transformation that made the distributions more normal.
Non-parametric methods are used when a dependent variable is not normally distributed, and this R package fits models to ordinal dependent variables such as C-BARQ subscales. The first, full model for each subscale contained all explanatory variables. This process resulted in two steps and models for most of the subscales except fear of dogs and separation problems, which required three models.
P -values are given for any explanatory variable that was significant at the 0. There have been analyses of behavior in puppies with the goal of using behavior measures to select dogs for work early in life. In a study of Swedish military working German Shepherd Dogs comparing C-BARQ scores with the outcome of a temperament test for acceptance into the program, trainability was significantly higher in dogs that passed the test, and stranger-directed aggression, stranger-directed fear, and non-social fear were significantly lower in dogs who passed the screening test 5.
In a study of guide and service dog puppies, using a logistic regression model with successful training as the dependent variable and C-BARQ scores at 6 months as explanatory variables, 27 of the C-BARQ traits explained significant proportions of the variation in success 4. Many of these traits from a 6-month C-BARQ were the same as those associated with working dog status in the present study, including trainability, stranger-directed aggression, owner-directed aggression, dog-directed aggression, non-social fear, stranger-directed fear, and chasing.
The present study did not find differences in touch sensitivity, separation problems, or excitability between SAR and pet dogs. These traits might be more important for guide dog work than for SAR work since guide dogs work in closer proximity to humans where touch sensitivity is more problematic, and guide dogs in training are not required to be alone frequently.
Trainability was significantly higher in successful dogs, and all other behavior characteristics measured in the present study had negative relationships with success.
The relationships between C-BARQ behavior traits and successful training as a service dog were similar at both ages, suggesting that it may be possible to use some C-BARQ subscales to screen and select dogs for SAR work as early as 6 months. Boldness was found to be associated with high performance in working dog tests in Swedish female German Shepherd Dogs and Belgian Tervurens The Dog Mentality Assessment is a broad-ranging test of a dog's aptitudes and differs substantially from the C-BARQ in that is not a questionnaire completed by owners but a behavior test scored by a judge.
Finally, questioning probed participants perceptions of the potential impact of communication difficulties on them and their partners. This general pattern of questioning was repeated for each of the other domains. Member checking of completed interview transcripts was used to improve validity of the research. No amendments were made to any of the transcripts as a result of member checking.
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The Sage handbook of qualitative research. Conceptualization: On theory and theorizing using grounded theory. International Journal of Qualitative Methods , 1 , 23 — NVivo 9, a qualitative data analysis QDA computer software package designed for qualitative research of text-based information Bazeley, Bazeley, P. Qualitative data analysis: Practical strategies.
The discovery of grounded theory: Strategies for qualitative research. London : Wiedenfeld and Nicholson. International Journal of Social Research Methodology , 13 , — To start the coding procedure and to manage ideas, concepts, and theoretical knowledge generated from the data, nodes storage depositories were created. Each transcript was examined in depth and coded into the nodes. A hierarchical tree structure of nodes were developed and structured according to themes and subthemes. Evidence for the six components of the theoretical model of the prompt dependency cycle and the relationships between them emerged during the axial coding stage used in grounded theory.
Axial coding is the second stage of a four-step sequence of coding which involves a constant comparative process of connecting categories and concepts together using inductive and deductive reasoning Creswell, Creswell, J. Axial coding and the grounded theory controversy. Western Journal of Nursing Research , 21 , — Grounded theory research: Procedures, canons, and evaluative criteria. Qualitative Sociology , 13 , 3 — Developing a grounded theory approach: A comparison of Glaser and Strauss.
International Journal of Nursing Studies , 41 , — These themes, in turn, were arranged into a cyclical model according to relationships indicated in the data.
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Validity in qualitative research revisited. Qualitative Research , 6 , — In addition, a research journal was used by the research team to systematically record decisions relating to coding of the data and its interpretation Bazeley, Bazeley, P. Data analysis resolved six key themes to illustrate the cycle of prompt dependency within the context of intimate relationships. Figure 1 presents the theoretical model of the cycle of prompt dependency, which comprises six themes derived from the coding paradigm Creswell, Creswell, J.
The model represents how prompt dependency emerges within the AS-NT relationship and how the need for reciprocal interaction NT partner versus the need to avoid reciprocal interaction AS partner are the common threads that kept prompt dependency cycling between partners. Each theme is described in detail in sections that follow. Figure 1. Theoretical model of the prompt dependency cycle. In this study, reciprocity was the defining theme as it signalled both the beginning and end of communicative exchange.
From the NT perspective, it was the point at which emotional connection and intimacy with their partner through conversation was sought. For many NT partners, it was also the point where they recognised they were entering into yet another cycle of communicative dissonance. It just frustrates me and it just makes me … angry and I would just get really annoyed about it. It would probably end up in an argument.
Not going to go there. I have always told him that he has never had to guess about how I feel. Like Ella, most NT partners believed that the struggle to avoid being caught within the communication roundabout proved arduous. Beth described the exhaustion involved in being entangled in the cycle and elaborated on how the experience made her feel devalued as a partner: I find it exhausting. I feel devalued. I feel assaulted verbally. I guess in a way I feel diminished and on the whole very frustrated, intensely frustrated that it is the same old, same old, and he will actually feedback the information that I am saying the same things.
That becomes very frustrating. What emerged from the interviews was that many NT partners felt disconnected from their AS partner due to the lack of reciprocity and regular avoidance tactics employed by their partners. This unresponsiveness not only created considerable emotional loneliness within the relationship but also was also difficult to convey to others.
I mean, that defies all reasoning. Ella also elaborated on the lack of emotion and unresponsiveness that she found hard to endure in her relationship.